My Frame of Mind

These are my thoughts, however I may quote those who are smarter and wiser than I am.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Good Bye are the Saddest Words


For those of you who follow my blog, you can tell something has been remiss.. 
Ergo me.
My mother weakend in the Fall, bounced back, then became a lot more fragile.
Thanksgiving came and the day didn't go well. She was "off". 
We had given her care-givers the Holidays off; Christmas Eve afternoon and Christmas Day.
She and I had a quiet Eve and Christmas Day watching Christmas chick flicks, wearing our new holiday socks, but that night and subsequently through the morning, she was trying to tell me something. 
She was still "off" a bit.
But alas, what she was trying to tell me was she knew this was it for her.
By 9:30 that morning she was gone.
She lived "loudly' so when I say she was "off" this was something I didn't catch. 
Listen to your Mother.

From our Celebration of Life today:

Mom never wanted a subdued event, she always wanted a Party or Celebration, so by gosh, we made it happen for her and are glad that you are all here to share.

Through this journey, my mantra has been #cry.laugh.remember.repeat.
And we have done all of the above. I hope you’ll do the same and feel free to share some of your memories a bit later.

When I meet new friends, they never believed me when I would tell them that I grew up with I Love Lucy as a mother. I mean, sure she worked Full Time, read books, gardened, cooked large family meals, baked cookies, our birthday cakes, made crafts, sewed costumes, decorated for holidays with flair, and loved to entertain.. 
but REALLY? Whose mother is Rudolph?   Twice in their lifetime? almost 35 years later!
Whose mother does skits with neighbors themed to “This is Your Life”, reinacting everything from the stork arriving to their wedding night? 

That era, that red-headed icon must have ignited a spark of inspiration and gave permission if you will, for the shenanigans that filled her life with joy, laughter and fun...and dragged anyone else willing and able to follow right along with her including I daresay the family.

She loved to laugh and to have the last punch line.
I’m sure most of you have heard a poem titled The Dash. 
I’d like to read just a small excerpt of that poem..
The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

She was not a “famous” named-icon, never walked on a Hollywood red carpet but she was the “Star” of her own life and she did it her way. 

Helen could have starred in AND deserved  a 4 part Mini-Series, however we tried to pick some of the few favorites of the millions of memories she has left us that represent her dash.
(still trying to upload the video...it seems to be a tad too long for loading)





Our venue and display table of momentos...








3 comments:

kath001 said...

Hi, Terri. I haven't had good internet access since I've been in Kentucky, so wasn't able to comment before. This is such a beautiful post about a beautiful soul. I have been thinking about you so much. Grieving sucks. I hope the wonderful memories of your mom bring you comfort. Hugs, kathleen

Betsy Lewis Gully said...

Terri, I never met your mother but I've always known she was someone special due to how you brought her to life for us that would never meet her face to face. Your memorial is beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss.

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